Saturday, January 06, 2018

I just want to wish my readers (both of you) 


Saturday, November 11, 2017

I really feel as though I should say something.

Sunday, May 02, 2010


This was posted in 2006 on the Nonkinsense blog. Recently, there has been yet another Noah's Ark siting claim, I have decided to repost it here. [Edited from the posting on the Nonkinsense blog.]

In August 2006, during a taping of "This Week In Atheism," we (the panel of two others and myself) commented on an article regarding a certain Dr. Bob Cornuke of the Christian Worldview Network. Dr. Bob had just returned from Iran with what he claimed is "stunning evidence they may have found" Noah's Ark. [For decades certain Christian fundamentalists have been claiming that the Ark is located on Mt. Ararat in present-day Turkey. Nevermind that virtually every piece of "evidence" brought back was either inconclusive, refuted, misinterpreted or blatant lying about scientific proof and a false claim that the Turkish government had authenticated the find.]

What this means is that, apparently, having failed to legitimize the site in Turkey, they've moved the location to Iran. Since the Ark seems to be moving from place to place, I have asked viewers to please let us know if they've seen it. Thus, I inaugurated "ArkWatch." So, we have been asking viewers on almost every show, "if you've seen Noah's Ark PLEASE let us know."

OK, how do you know if you've seen evidence of Noah's Ark? Surprisingly, you don't have to be WARSHED IN THE BLUDDA JESUS, but it helps.

The following items or conditions COULD qualify as evidence that you have encountered Noah's Ark:

1. Two pairs of dead animals.

2. Two pairs of live animals.

3. Two pears.

4. An impression in the ground or rocks roughly in the shape of a very big boat or you actually see a very big boat or you can do an impression of a very big boat.

5. An impression in the ground or rocks roughly in the shape of the ribs of a very big boat.

6. An order of ribs.

7. An original 45 RPM disk of the 1961 release, "Gypsy Woman," by The Impressions.

8. One or more large oval stones with drilled holes in the top indicating that they could be anchor stones.

9. Just the holes.

10. You're stoned. (See Item #9)

11. A picture of the Ark taken from space.

12. A picture of Noah taken from space.

13. A picture of Noah taken taken from space during karaoke night while singing the 1961 release, "Gypsy Woman," by The Impressions.

14. You realize that if you repeat the word "ark" at least five times quickly you've pretty much nailed Popeye's laugh.

15. You wake up hung over and realize that you pretty much nailed Popeye and to make matters worse, there are now FOUR dead animals.

Keep your eyes peeled because Noah's Ark could be coming to your neighborhood!


The Arkmeister

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

To see "Expelled" or not to see...

OK, so the dilemma here is that I feel I shouldn't comment on the movie unless I've seen it, but at the same time I don't want to give money to Liars for God. Of course, I could wait until it goes to cable, which I suspect will be much sooner than the producers would have hoped. I don't know if its even playing in New York anymore. It would be amusing to see it with a bunch of friends and laugh through it.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

34th Annual American Atheists Conference

The 34th Annual American Atheists conference (we no longer refer to them as conventions) was held in Minneapolis, MN. Among the speakers was Richard Dawkins, author of The God Delusion and Dr. Lawrence M. Krauss, a physicist and cosmologist who gave a fascinating lecture entitled “Much Ado About Nothing: A Cosmic Mystery Story” regarding the structure--and future--of the universe.

It was my pleasure to introduce one of the speakers at the convention (most of my one-liners fell flat): Robert Lanham, author of the book The Sinner's Guide to the Evangelical Right, containing humorous profiles, and indicates by their level of importance to the movement, the wing nuts at the center of the Evangelical Right, e.g., Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson, Jim Bakker, Ted Haggart (who was seeing a male prostitute, unbeknownst to the author at the time), and includes some of my personal favorites: Joyce Meyers, Jimmy Swaggart and the inimitable Jack Chick. If you've never heard of Jack Chick you've probably seen one or two of his little cartoon tracts. They are approximately 3"x5" booklets of about a dozen pages and usually feature stories depicting a young person being seduced by Satan and then burning in Hell in the last frame. His tracts are very popular and are widely collected by believers and non-believers alike. I have a small collection of my own. Nobody doesn't get it like Jack Chick doesn't get it. I consider him to be the Garry Trudeau of Assholes.

I also managed to tape four segments of one of my cable shows, "NYC Atheists Live! (On Tape)"; two with Dr. David Eller, a professor of anthropology at a state university in Denver, Colorado. I interviewed him three years ago at the Philadelphia convention. At the time he was promoting his book, Natural Atheism, which is a great introduction to anyone unfamiliar with the subject. This time we discussed, in part, his new books, Atheism Advanced and Introduction: Anthropology of Religion, the latter being more of a text book. He dispelled many of the misconceptions of what religion is "about." It is not, for instance, about "God," a shared experience, morality or mythology, although they each may be included in a given religious view. His speech to the convention was entitled, “Religion is Not What You Believe: How Religion Works without Belief or Meaning to Colonize Experience.”

The other interview I did was with Jack Richter, a gay man from the St. Cloud, MN area who is an ex-member of an "ex-gay" organization called EXODUS, a Christian organization devoted to "curing" gays. I asked him about his background, etc. and how he found his way into--and out of--EXODUS. Unsurprisingly, there is much hypocrisy connected with the organization and much cheating on the program. He is also a trained opera singer and has a mellifluous voice, having studied in New York.

Among the items discussed is one of the great ironies of the extreme Evangelical Right: their homophobia is based upon the King James translation of the Book of Leviticus in the (misnamed) Old Testament. King James was notoriously, unapologetically, IN YOUR FACE gay. I think it is one of the great tragedies of human literature that King James didn't do the translation himself instead of commissioning contemporary scholars. If he had written his own bible we would now know what Jesus was wearing. How much better off would the world have been if instead of fire and brimstone the Gospels had been written thusly:

"As He gave His Sermon on the Mount Our Lord looked FAAAAAABULOUS, fresh as a daisy and all ready for the beach in his cherry red terry cloth robe and cowl combination with sandals from Caesarea.

He spake thus unto the multitude: 'Blessed are those who save their receipts!'

And the multitude clicked in the air three times and responded, 'You go, girl!'"

Monday, August 20, 2007

NYC Atheists Cruise

NYC Atheists will be hosting a 5-day cruise from NYC to Nova Scotia from 8/25 thru 8/30. Hopefully, I will have pictures and clips and a report. Stay tuned.